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This vision of marriage takes the expectation off of our spouses to make us happy and re-creates the expectation that our marriage exists to help us grow.

It turns our focus from personal fulfillment to mutual personal development.

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What if the fire (read: conflict) of marriage—as uncomfortable as it can sometimes be—is only a means to an end?

Paul the apostle seems to think this might be the case.

This means that the original word picture we have for the relationship between a man and a woman is an all-consuming, tireless-in-nature, potentially hazard-creating fire.

And though this picture lends itself to the modern concept of heated romance or passionate love, the Bible consistently points to a different purpose of fire.

Fire happens to be one of the Bible’s primary metaphors for purification and personal development. If the relationships between two spouses really is “fire” as the Hebrew language suggests, it would seem its purpose—in line with biblical teaching—is personal refinement, designed to play a significant role in any spouses process of maturity and growth.

I can practically hear your protests, but hang with me—the biblical picture gets better.

I broke up with my wife twice while we were dating. According to Biblical history, after having just been introduced to the only other human being on earth, Adam says, “She shall be called woman [Hebrew word: ishshah], because she was taken out of man [Hebrew word: ish].” Ish and Ishshah.

That often comes as a shock to those close to us, particularly because they can’t figure out why she dated me in the first place. She was everything I wanted—everything I had dreamed of in a woman. I assume these names won’t be topping your list of names for future kids (although they do have a certain ring to them).

During the ceremony, the priest acknowledged Jesus did everything He did—including death on a tree—for our salvation.

Then the priest looked at the couple and, borrowing Paul’s comparison of marriage to Jesus’ love, said: Now that sounds like a love worth fighting for.

He originally was focused on having a college football career and attended the United States Air Force Academy Preparatory School; he opted, however, to become a journalism student at the University of Northern Colorado, during which time he honed his skills as a musician. He has been in a relationship with popular You Tuber Brey Noelle.

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