I started to see what it really meant to be in an interracial relationship.Sometimes white girls hid me from their family, especially their father. I had one girlfriend in high school who strictly forbade doorbell ringing. She was not going to go through the trouble of calling attention to the fact that she was going out with a black guy.
The thing is, I have to consider that while I've hooked up with women of other races, just about all of my girlfriends in life, since I was 13, have been white. Am I secretly one of those black guys who thinks white women are better and hotter and I'm just not ignorant enough to admit it?
I've never gone out of my way to reject black women; I just have way higher success rates with white women.
A racist jury acquitted his murderers, Roy Bryant and J. Milam, despite overwhelming evidence, and, to rub salt in the wound, both admitted to killing Till in magazine the next year. The shoe was on the other foot for once and so be it if two white people wound up dead. That's harsh, but that's the historical context of black men dating white women that I unfortunately have to consider when doing the same. Even then, I understood that it was racial, but there was a disconnection from my personal reality. Whatever I learned from the trial was tucked away as something that I should know as a black man, but it didn't have a life-altering impact on my own development. For whatever implications the trial had, that shit also had nothing to do with me. My attraction to them was likely a natural response to my environment. Nobody was trying to assimilate with white people, but sometimes that's just the way things go when you want a better home and better schools for your family.
Though those events are something of which I'm always cognizant, I didn't adhere to them as any sort of cautionary tale. The idea was always to live my life however I wanted to live it. But it does have an unforeseen effect on your outlook when you're one of the few black families in town.
Skepticism towards black men/white women relationships is a longstanding and well-documented part of our cultural fabric in America. I'm not a "black man" who "dates white women." I'm a person.
I have my own unique experiences and some of them include having dated women who are white, but because interracial dating is such a historically tense and loaded subject, it's hardly ever looked at with any understanding or compassion for the people personally involved.
And I'm going to go off if you say some dumb shit like that to me.
But outside of those situations, I'm not thinking about race like that.
The concept of a black man in a relationship with a white woman is a "thing" that people have an opinion on, and that opinion comes with an entire set of stereotypes, fueled by racist ideology, a complicated past, and sometimes even pop culture.