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It was also more honest than anything else about the spirit of sex, and showed me the act of love didn’t have to come with the fear of imminent death, pregnancy and Victorian gothic level histrionics. Almost 20 years later, I am still making tasteless jokes with my own breasts, and my sexual partners have Eurotrash to thank.

Here are the most important things the show taught me.

It’s pronounced ‘pen-eees’ At school, sex chat came with a massive side order of mockery.

I know now that the purpose of this was to mask the fact that no-one knew anything, but as someone who spent the last year of primary school being called ‘comdom’, I really appreciated Antoine and Jean Paul’s gratuitously gallic pronunciation fight.

Everyone has sex, everywhere Ninja fox Carla Bruni was called upon to teach Antoine and Jean Paul about a new sexy book that promoted global shagging in all languages. And Eurotrash’s policy of embracing everyone on the sexual spectrum ensured many of us grew up with a healthy, total intolerance of homophobia.

There are no fabrics and fibres that cannot go near your hoo haa for the sake of gratification I thought I would spend my knicker wearing life trapped in a prison of 100 per cent cotton nipple covering Sloggi specials.

Then I saw Josmar rocking the dickens out of a studded pleather harness.

‘We must know what to tell people when we are in bed with them, or if we go to a restaurant with them, because that is romantic too,’ murmured Carla. Fannys are fabulous When you’ve grown up reading with anxious, giggling school friends, you quickly get the impression that there is no greater indignity than being named ‘Fanny’.

Her casual carnality ruined The Rules for me forever, and a damn good thing it was too. Fanny is a bad name, for a bad thing, and no-one must ever know that you actually have one.But if you’re old enough to know that the massive Stockingfillas parcels that keep coming for your Dad are not ‘for work’, you’re old enough to giggle at a conference of festive workers being entertained by an orgasmic hula hooping lady.You can have as many boys as you like Eurotrash made me fall in love with drag, and through Chi Chi Larue I learned that sheer confidence and chutzpah was what formed your sexual identity.I tested this on the i Phone, i Phone Retina, i Pad, and i Pad Retina.The tricky part was the i Pad landscape image is really a portrait image of a different size than the i Pad portrait image and the text and logos turned 90 degrees( look at the sample images to see what i am talking about).This site has been blocked by order of the government of Russia.


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