Close relationships, intimate connections, between men and women have always been hard to forge and even harder to maintain. Small wonder that many of those who find Face Book so appealing have trouble living up to their creations of self in real life.
For all of its technological advances, the digital age, it seems, doesn't offer very fertile ground for them to flourish. Hence, the hookup, in which physical intimacy may be achieved, but at the expense of real communication and emotional intercourse.
The purpose of most dates is to find out whether or not the person is someone you might want to have a relationship with.
"I don't like to initiate getting to know someone with a date. Instead, I ask a guy if he wants to hang out which could involve drinks at a bar, watching a movie at one of our houses, or just coming out with my friend and me when we go out on the weekends. Streep highlights one of the traps for the unwary along the modern technological superhighway.
That seems to relieve the pressure of the situation." What's missing from the agenda – just talking one-on-one without distraction – is worth noting. "Talk about 'hooking up': The influence of College Social Networks on Nonrelationship Sex." Health Communications,=, 2012. For all it offers in the way of speed and convenience in effecting communication, it dehumanizes that process at the same time.
More important, has the hookup made it even harder for them to understand how physical intimacy connects to emotional and psychological intimacy?
What does it mean when sex precedes a real conversation and neither party has much experience conversing with the opposite sex?
And they're finding the going tough because they're novices.
Successful dating requires specific social skills and mastery of the art of conversation, neither of which are honed by the hookup or digital communication.
) Like Facebook postings, the hookup takes place publicly in a group setting, with other people observing at least the first stages of sexual connection.
(As one young woman, 24, put it, "And so I found myself making out with him by accident.") The group setting, according to a study published by Amanda Holman and Allan Sillars, also helps to "normalize" hookups since talking about them makes students believe that more people are engaged in them than they actually are.
I know this personally as a Baby Boomer who missed all of the drugs, the "free" love, and a lot of the Rock 'n Roll consistently associated with my peers.