To be present also means to ground yourself and not dissociate, daydream, suppress or numb your emotions. Feeling the pain of sadness, hurt, and fear is challenging and difficult.
At the same time avoiding emotions often results in quite negative consequences, while accepting allows emotions to pass and helps build resiliency.
There are many times that you will have thoughts that surprise you or that don't reflect your values or what you know is true.
You will also have feelings that you know aren't justfied.
Being mindful of the thoughts you are having and the feelings you are experiencing is necessary before you can validate that internal experience. These levels can also be applied to self-validation.
Level 1 Be Present To be mindful of your emotions without pushing them away is consistent with Linehan’s first level of validation: Being Present.
Stating the facts of your experience is validating and helps build trust in your internal experience.
Interpreting your experience in ways that you cannot observe to be true invalidates and leads to distrust in your internal experience and more Level 3: Guessing Sometimes you won’t be sure what you are feeling or thinking. You can notice where you feel body sensations, such as fear is often felt in the throat.
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Validation means to express understanding and acceptance of another person's internal experience, whatever that might be. Validation builds relationships and helps ease upset feelings.
Level 2 Accurate Reflection Reflect means to make manifest or apparent.