No one else can tell you what you are feeling, so only by being in touch with your own emotions can you know if you’re ready.
Everyone mourns differently, so widows/widowers must be careful not to let other people dictate the speed of their recovery.”“Too many variables to say what is right for anyone the old year thing is probably wise as a minimum. I didn’t quite make the 1 year wait to date thing…and I made a mess, I think I will use 5 years to remarry as a minimum.“This is variable, and having been married to a widower, been widowed and later marrying another widower as well as encountering several men on the widow/widower board, I have noticed that men seem to be ready earlier than women.
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The key is that every person is different, and you should take the widow/widower’s word that she/he is ready to date.” There is no specific time range that works for everyone.
Some people may be ready after 6 months, while others may feel ready after 5 years.
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Also, if the person was terminally ill and that illness took a long time to run it’s course, the widowed person may have done a lot of grieving prior to the actual occurrence of death and might be ready to date earlier than ‘the experts’ predict.
For me, it was 18 months before I considered dating again.
As a follow-up to our article, here are more thoughts on navigating the often tricky waters of dating someone who is beginning to date after grieving the untimely loss of their partner or spouse – from Members of our own Widow/Widowers community here on e Harmony Advice, in their own words.
As you’ll see from the passages below, everyone’s reaction to their circumstance, opinions and experiences are going to be different, so it’s important to keep in mind the specific needs of your match as you progress.
He or she is also letting go of the past.” “Tread lightly and follow their lead.
If he or she feels comfortable talking about their deceased partner then you should feel free to ask questions or make comments. You should not compare yourself to the departed spouse. One has to remember, that a widowed person did not end the relationship because he/she wanted to – it was taken from them, and in this way is very different from that of a divorce.” Starting a completely new path in one’s life is a big decision and would cause emotional upheaval for anyone, no matter the situation.
Annother: “If he or she is new to dating, there may be tears. However, the occasional emotional reminiscence is not an indication that the person is not ready to date.