Your family will eventually accept that you have the right to choose your own partner, and for the sake of family unity they will come to accept them.Streetwise’s agony column, Advice Special, gets hundreds of letters from young people asking for help and advice on how to cope with their parents. Read this letter from Jane and Advice Special’s comments.By bringing a new partner into the family, it shows that the other person isn’t coming back and may bring up feelings of resentment and grief.
Finding common ground Before you introduce your partner to your parents, give them some background.
Don’t limit this conversation to just what they’ve been like as your parents but also what they’re like as people.
It was a rule in the house that I was only allowed out once during the week and on Saturday till 10 p.m.
Every time I attempted to go out in the evening, my parents asked me who I was going out with and where we were going.
The question of whether your parents like and accept the relationship could also seriously affect the future of the relationship, but their initial reaction may not be the whole story.
The parent’s role Ever since you were born your parents have been looking out for you and making decisions based on what’s best for you.Bringing a new person into your family is always tricky.The hope is that everyone will like each other and get along, but if your parents disapprove of your choice in partner it can make things uncomfortable and awkward, especially for you.They even insisted on my giving them my friend’s telephone number in case they needed to contact me.I always argued about the last bit; I felt that if I gave them the number they’d use it to check up on me.If they care about you they will naturally be upset if they think your parents didn’t care about or support you in the way you needed them too.