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Picture conveyer belts of them trailing endlessly into the distance, hard and ready with dicks in hand. The first time I ever went online, to Prodigy back when they existed and charged by time spent signed on, I felt its vast potential for interpersonal relations, much like the first thing I wanted to do on Chatroulette was show people my boobs.

Ordering one up is sort of like picking a song on the jukebox, watching that electronic arm grab one from its slot and deliver it to you. For someone with low self-esteem, who had rarely gotten any kind of sexual attention in real life, going online was like falling down a rabbit hole into a life I had previously only read about in the "Sweet Valley High" novels I mulled over -- the kind of life where boys and men want to "chat" with you, and sex with another person is a tangible possibility.

When shopping around for a new suitor, several potential deal breakers immediately come to mind.

The person you’re chatting with online could have a criminal record, be a registered sex offender, or even still be married!

Since I was 13 years old, every boyfriend I ever had pretty much came from the Internet.

I basically reduced vast amounts of world-changing technology and advanced circuitry to a fancy machine for talking to boys.

Singles seeking love can now find exactly what they’re looking for (even if it’s a little strange).

As always, remember to background check anyone you meet online before agreeing to meet up in person.And not only can you order up sex as easily as Pad Thai (if you had to check your Pad Thai for visual sores), the laws of supply and demand mean you can get as specific as you want about your partner and scenario.Like maybe you're looking for a redhead to give you oral sex and then leave?We’ve covered some weird niche dating sites on this blog before, but we had no idea that pet compatibility was so important to people—until now. It’s pretty much a dream come true for anyone who is completely obsessed with their cat, and wants to meet other people who are also obsessed with their cats.Here are five online dating sites to check out if you’re a hardcore pet lover. Now go forth and start your own cat tribe, my friends.Now you can find someone to sweep you off your city feet and onto a horse, so you can fulfill your dream of riding off into the sunset on horseback with your sweetie.

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